Sunday, January 24, 2010
No longer pissed - now happy
I am not unhappy or pissed at all. I have a new guy, slept with him the first time last night, and am somewhat in love. He's great, and he gives me everything Don refused to give. I guess that's the end of this blog.
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Quote-Happy-unquote new year
173. Having my SIL try to order me around, then getting cast as the bad guy for standing up to her.
174. Having my shithead nephews diss my mother and try to steal from my father.
175. Being stupid enough to get goaded (by histrionic mom) into doing something aggressive against stupid nephew.
176. Thusly getting holy hell brought down on me from bitch SIL indirectly through my parents.
177. Having Mom and Dad both cower to this asshole family.
178. Having my mother throw me under the bus after I risked a lot to do what I believed was helping her.
179. Having my mother tell me "Call your doctor. You need help" when I call her on manipulating me.
180. Having killer neck pain for a week that spasms from the cold. Did I mention it's been 17 degrees here?
181. Nearly passing out from a new med.
182. Apologizing to my brother for interfering and hearing absolutely no response. Probably because I didn't apologize to bitch SIL for standing up to her. She might very well have deleted my message.
183. Having asshole ex-bf do his classic "call to complain/trump up some reason to get offended/huff off in angry self pity" tactic, which usually comes when he's done something he knows would upset me and wants to justify his behavior.
184. Needing to go back on mood regulators.
185. Having to continually weigh "I can't stand to be freezing cold all the time" vs. "I don't want a $300 heating bill."
186. My hair is very thin and it looks like shit.
174. Having my shithead nephews diss my mother and try to steal from my father.
175. Being stupid enough to get goaded (by histrionic mom) into doing something aggressive against stupid nephew.
176. Thusly getting holy hell brought down on me from bitch SIL indirectly through my parents.
177. Having Mom and Dad both cower to this asshole family.
178. Having my mother throw me under the bus after I risked a lot to do what I believed was helping her.
179. Having my mother tell me "Call your doctor. You need help" when I call her on manipulating me.
180. Having killer neck pain for a week that spasms from the cold. Did I mention it's been 17 degrees here?
181. Nearly passing out from a new med.
182. Apologizing to my brother for interfering and hearing absolutely no response. Probably because I didn't apologize to bitch SIL for standing up to her. She might very well have deleted my message.
183. Having asshole ex-bf do his classic "call to complain/trump up some reason to get offended/huff off in angry self pity" tactic, which usually comes when he's done something he knows would upset me and wants to justify his behavior.
184. Needing to go back on mood regulators.
185. Having to continually weigh "I can't stand to be freezing cold all the time" vs. "I don't want a $300 heating bill."
186. My hair is very thin and it looks like shit.
Monday, December 7, 2009
The not-so-fired edition
172. The fact that I spent around a month freaking out day and night, slowly taking my belongings home bit by bit, in anticipation of being fired around Thanksgiving. Only it's now well past Thanksgiving and two days before a big company meeting and party. And apparently I'm speaking.
173. The fact that my now definitely-ex bf says we are definitely breaking up and we are definitely not going to have sex any more.
174. The fact that even though he was lousy in bed, I still feel a pang of regret.
175. I just ate an entire pack of cooked turkey bacon.
176. Realizing that I really, truly am a living-breathing drama queen. Oh, fuck...
177. That my poor fish is dying in slow motion. He's been lying on his side for three days. But every time I come near, he waves a fin at me. I am not kidding.
173. The fact that my now definitely-ex bf says we are definitely breaking up and we are definitely not going to have sex any more.
174. The fact that even though he was lousy in bed, I still feel a pang of regret.
175. I just ate an entire pack of cooked turkey bacon.
176. Realizing that I really, truly am a living-breathing drama queen. Oh, fuck...
177. That my poor fish is dying in slow motion. He's been lying on his side for three days. But every time I come near, he waves a fin at me. I am not kidding.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
The commemorative pre-firing edition
165. Having my boss "secretly" start interviewing candidates for a job-like-my-job 3 weeks ago. How do I know this? The suit. She wore the interview suit.
166. My boss having 3 interview candidates into the office yesterday.
167. My boss speaking to me only once yesterday: To ask me for the quiz we use for interviewing people who do my job.
168. Asking my super-control-freaky boss for input on a big project Friday before I got started. Then Monday while I was 10% done. And still no feedback. Tomorrow we have the Big Meeting about the content.
169. The fact that everybody at my company thinks my manager is a fucking angel and so bright and "on it," when in fact she's an insecure, threatened bitch who forces me to execute half-baked ideas without helping to resolve the problems they cause.
170. The fact that Mom had a very bad wreck with a truck and was knocked unconscious. Her Firebird was totaled. And she told me all this in email a week later.
171. The fact that I will likely be fired tomorrow.
166. My boss having 3 interview candidates into the office yesterday.
167. My boss speaking to me only once yesterday: To ask me for the quiz we use for interviewing people who do my job.
168. Asking my super-control-freaky boss for input on a big project Friday before I got started. Then Monday while I was 10% done. And still no feedback. Tomorrow we have the Big Meeting about the content.
169. The fact that everybody at my company thinks my manager is a fucking angel and so bright and "on it," when in fact she's an insecure, threatened bitch who forces me to execute half-baked ideas without helping to resolve the problems they cause.
170. The fact that Mom had a very bad wreck with a truck and was knocked unconscious. Her Firebird was totaled. And she told me all this in email a week later.
171. The fact that I will likely be fired tomorrow.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Night 22
162. Having the program manager call me out in front of the entire company because he doesn't want to accept the bug I think I've found in the software. Look, it's not my fault your fucking sw has to be full-screen to look almost okay.
163. Having a super-intelligent program manager pretend like he's an idiot who just doesn't get what I mean and yet, treat me like an even bigger idiot because he just doesn't get what I mean.
164. Bad job applicants. The unemployment rate is ridiculous. Yet I have so many resumes from quote-writers-quote or quote-editors-quote who can't even proof their own resumes or figure out where to put commas.
163. Having a super-intelligent program manager pretend like he's an idiot who just doesn't get what I mean and yet, treat me like an even bigger idiot because he just doesn't get what I mean.
164. Bad job applicants. The unemployment rate is ridiculous. Yet I have so many resumes from quote-writers-quote or quote-editors-quote who can't even proof their own resumes or figure out where to put commas.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
A tired night
161. I'm pissed that I spend so much time formatting and reformatting and re-reformatting the same crap.
162. I'm pissed that I worked until 10:30 last night because I had to spend 3.5 hours yesterday trying to figure out how to fix a numbering problem in HTML that it turns out couldn't be fixed.
163. I am very angry that my nephew, the self-righteous minister-in-training, is a blatantly antisemitic racist and hater of Catholics.
164. I am even angrier that my family gives this shithead a free pass to say anything he wants without a thought in his soft head for what it means.
165. I'm even ANGRIER that my mother, who is married to a Jew, tells me to basically shut up about this dumbass nephew's racism.
166. And PS today I sent her very expensive flowers for her birthday, and she is punishing me by not even acknowledging the present.
167. I have no real family.
168. I am born into a clan of two-faced morons.
162. I'm pissed that I worked until 10:30 last night because I had to spend 3.5 hours yesterday trying to figure out how to fix a numbering problem in HTML that it turns out couldn't be fixed.
163. I am very angry that my nephew, the self-righteous minister-in-training, is a blatantly antisemitic racist and hater of Catholics.
164. I am even angrier that my family gives this shithead a free pass to say anything he wants without a thought in his soft head for what it means.
165. I'm even ANGRIER that my mother, who is married to a Jew, tells me to basically shut up about this dumbass nephew's racism.
166. And PS today I sent her very expensive flowers for her birthday, and she is punishing me by not even acknowledging the present.
167. I have no real family.
168. I am born into a clan of two-faced morons.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
A Thursday night
158. I'm pissed that my crappy ex, whom I KNOW is an asshole, liar, jerk, LIAR, JERK, who I think finally came home from Asia today, because he emailed me yesterday from the airport, is now avoiding contact when I debase myself by trying to call and chat on the PC. Yeah, I'm real pissed at both of us for that. I'm crying mad, that's what I am.
159. I'm mad that my work is so time-intensive and goes so slowly but I have exactly 14 days to get a Web site of old material revitalized and live.
160. I am so mad that I just don't have any time left to find real love. That I absolutely wasted nearly every year of my adulthood on phantoms. I'm crying mad about that too.
159. I'm mad that my work is so time-intensive and goes so slowly but I have exactly 14 days to get a Web site of old material revitalized and live.
160. I am so mad that I just don't have any time left to find real love. That I absolutely wasted nearly every year of my adulthood on phantoms. I'm crying mad about that too.
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